You’re going to wish you knew about the fifth tip for managing your loved one’s independence much earlier!

We are Sue Ryan and Nancy Treaster. As caregivers for our family members with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia, we’ve learned leaving them at home alone can be a challenging and anxiety-inducing experience, whether they are living with us or living on their own.

In this post, we’re sharing six tips we’ve developed to help you navigate this phase of your caregiving journey, helping your care receiver maintain their independence while ensuring their safety.

As you’ll see in each tip, if these can’t be monitored, your loved one shouldn’t be living alone; there’s too much at risk. We don’t know when they will begin having issues and there are unfortunately too many tragic stories.

Your loved one who is living independently may be resistant to monitoring measures. This is an area to be firm. Just as you would say no to your child who came up to you 5 minutes before dinner asking for candy because it’s not what’s best for them, it’s important to be firm about monitoring devices to help them stay safe.

Sue story: 

My next door neighbor was diagnosed with dementia. Generationally, they stored their bread and cookies in the oven to keep them fresh. One night, she got up to go to the bathroom, thought it was Thanksgiving, went into the kitchen and turned on the oven to preheat it so she could put in the turkey. Her husband woke up to the smell of melting plastic. We can’t know when our care receiver will have an issue or what it will be. Don’t wait until something happens.

When your loved one lives alone, it’s important to either ‘drop in’ or call to stop by at different times. A big red flag is if they begin making excuses why you can’t come to their home.

Staying home alone is definitely a temporary part of their journey.

1. Conduct an Audit of Their Activities of Daily Living

Regularly observe and document your loved one’s ability to perform daily tasks in and around the house. Several of these include personal hygiene, preparing meals, eating, cleaning, hobbies, laundry, yard work. This helps identify patterns of decline and areas where support may be needed. 

Sue’s Experience:

I began tracking changes by keeping a notebook. I would observe the different tasks my loved ones were doing, how well they could perform them, and where they were struggling. This helped me identify patterns and areas of concern. When I visited loved ones who were living independently, I made sure I brought both refrigerated food and packaged food as a surprise so I could put something in their pantry and check it while doing that and put something in the refrigerator so I could check the refrigerator. Use the bathroom so you can check it, and check the laundry room. Some loved ones are very open – others don’t want you to know they’re struggling.

Nancy’s Experience:

When I was still traveling for work, I would prepare pre-made dinners and place them in the freezer for my husband. For months, he was able to retrieve and microwave these meals independently. However, one day, my best friend called to inform me that this phase had passed – my husband no longer remembered that there was dinner in the freezer or what to do with it.

2. Monitor Food and Hydration

Ensure your loved one is eating properly and staying hydrated. Set up systems to make food easily accessible and track fluid intake. If your loved one is living alone, the easiest way to monitor this is by installing cameras in their home. Explain these are for their safety and your peace of mind. 

If your loved one can’t manage to eat and drink effectively on their own, they shouldn’t be living alone. This is incredibly important because of the variety of issues dehydration can cause.

Sue’s Experience:

We realized the importance of monitoring both food intake and hydration. For my grandmother and dad, we set out the required amount of drinks for the day using eight-ounce glasses. This visual cue helped ensure they were staying properly hydrated. We set out the items for my dad to make his breakfast so he didn’t have to remember where or what they were. For my grandfather who lived in a different city, we hired someone to come by once a day to make sure he was eating, to set out his water for the next day, and to check on the condition of his home. 

Nancy’s Experience:

I have friends who are working hard to keep their father living independently. They’ve arranged for weekly grocery deliveries and pre-made meals for him. They also conduct regular checks to ensure he’s eating properly.

3. Ensure Communication Capabilities

Verify that your loved one can communicate with the outside world and call for help if needed. There are a variety of technology solutions available with varying options for two-way communication. The earlier in the diagnosis these are implemented the better, so they can get used to using them.

Nancy’s Experience:

Communication is a deal-breaker for independent living. If your loved one can’t physically answer the phone or call 911 in an emergency, they shouldn’t be living alone. We introduced indoor and outdoor cameras with intercoms as an additional communication method. These are especially useful if their phone battery dies.

4. Manage Medication

Establish a reliable system for medication management. If your loved one can’t take their medication independently, it may be time to reconsider their living situation.

Nancy’s Experience:

Medication management is crucial. If they can’t take their medication independently, they can’t live alone. I have friends who use a combination of regular check-ins and strategically placed cameras to ensure their father takes his medication three times a day.

Sue’s Experience: 

There are a variety of excellent options to support medications being taken properly, from automated dispensers with alerts that can be programmed to your phones, to pre-packaged doses. This is helpful both for supporting your loved one who lives with you so you don’t have to make them up each time, and can easily leave them for your loved one if you’re away from home. It’s still important to have cameras to make sure they are actually taking the medicine. We had a friend who set a great system up for their mom (without cameras) and learned she had begun throwing the pills out because she thought she had to chew them and they tasted bad. 

5. Track for Safety 

Implement safety tracking measures, including monitoring driving abilities and using personal tracking devices to ensure your loved one’s whereabouts.

Sue’s Experience:

Tracking driving ability is important. I would casually ask to ride along on errands and then request additional stops to observe how well they could navigate outside their normal routine. I had a friend who secretly followed her husband to monitor if he was able to go where he said he was going. 

There are also various personal tracking devices available, such as wearable GPS units. This would have been helpful for me. A friend dropped my husband off at home and watched as he went into the garage. About twenty minutes after my husband was to have arrived, I called the friend to ask when they were coming home. He didn’t realize my husband had decided to turn around and go for a walk. (Thank goodness I had him registered with the Police Department and we were able to find him! A tracking device would have been valuable.)

Nancy’s Experience:

A friend bought her mother an Apple Watch, which not only allows them to track her location but also has fall detection capabilities.

6. Create a Support Team

Build a network of family, friends, and neighbors who can assist in caregiving and emergencies. Keep everyone informed with up-to-date information about your loved one’s needs.

Sue’s Experience:

I created a comprehensive notebook with important information like medication schedules, dietary needs, emergency procedures, and contact details for backup support. I kept both digital and printed versions, periodically updating the team members.

Nancy’s Experience:

Having a support team is crucial, especially for long-distance caregivers. My friends whose father lives in a different time zone have arranged for a neighbor to check on him if they can’t make contact.

The ability to leave your loved one with dementia at home alone is a temporary situation. While it requires continuous monitoring and can be anxiety-inducing, implementing these strategies can help you navigate this temporary phase more effectively.

If you have tips you think others would benefit from, please share them on our Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/TheCaregiversJourneys

For more on this topic listen to our podcast episode https://youtu.be/grnmzYE2j0I

We are all on this journey together.

Additional Resources Mentioned

These resources contain affiliate links so we may receive a small commission for purchases made at no additional cost to you.

• Audit for home list
  • Laundry: Ability to wash, dry, and put away clothes
  • Home cleaning: Bathroom cleanliness, safe use of cleaning products
  • Personal hygiene – Bathing safety, overall cleanliness  
  • Safety with appliances and equipment: Proper use of kitchen appliances 
  • Locking and unlocking doors: Security awareness
  • Home safety: Identifying and removing fall risks (rugs, furniture placement)
  • Temperature control: Appropriate use of thermostat, pre-program and cover over it, control through app. 
• Thermostat control 
  • Control through app
    • I use my Nest for this as well and have it on the same app as the cameras here
    • Amazon product works with Ring here
  • Thermostat cover here
• Electronic medication dispensing and monitoring device for caregiver here
• Inside and outdoor cameras 
  • Cameras with an intercom
    • Ring indoor with two-way talk here
    • Ring outdoor with two-way talk here
• Tracking devices for their person
  • Apple Airtag here
  • Samsung SmartTag – here
  • Shoes AirTag here
  • Shoes generic here
  • Watch here